the little asshole even eats their french fries, is there no end to his torment
What you need to know
by Jen Sorensen
this is why it wins. everything.
no actually this can be a very harmful message to be sending to…anyone.
Love is not being asked or expected or needed to put your needs before someone else’s.
Love is when both people’s needs are met mutually.
Love is safe.
STOP ROMANTICIZING THE NOTION THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH PAIN AND TURMOIL TO PROVE YOU LOVE SOMEONE.
STOP LOOKING INTO THIS MOVIE SO FUCKING MUCH ITS GEARED TOWARDS CHILDREN THAT WILL NOT LOOK THIS DEEPY INTO IT.
Uhhhhhhhh yeah they will. There is an entire generation of women who grew up on Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella and then woke up one day realizing that the notion of needing a man to define or save you was really fucked up.
This. Exactly fucking this.
*Breathes sigh of relief*
Do you really think there aren’t kids in abusive homes who don’t get this type of gaslighting all the time? The victim-blaming, ‘fixer-upper’ notion you can fix someone if you love them enough is the LIFEBLOOD of an abusive relationship. The actions dealt towards you by your abuser become your own fault because you didn’t show them enough patience/love/make enough allowances for what they’re going through. You don’t tell anyone about the hell this person is putting you through because you’re afraid they’ll judge you for being selfish and not putting your abuser’s needs first. More than anything you’re afraid people will agree that your abuse is your own fault and because of this trope, people often unconsciously do.
Love is not martyrdom.
There is something inherently messed up about a film (where the themes are supposedly the forms true love can take) where the saves-the-day-breaks-the-curse love is stemmed from a relationship so damaged and estranged that the most significant interactions they’ve had in thirteen years are both the times one accidentally almost killed the other.
This character has spent her whole life chasing after people trying to feel like someone loves her. She’s completely broken in this scene following one horrific betrayal after another and Olaf is seriously waxing on at a dying teenager… about self-sacrifice?! Wouldn’t this scene, wouldn’t Anna’s entire arc, have had more meaning if this was the point where she said ‘No. I’ve spent my whole life beating my heart against a door waiting for it to open. I’m not going to stumble desperately into the snow looking for someone else to fill this vacuum. Elsa spent her whole life petrified of being rejected while I spent my whole life being rejected. People judged me for agreeing to marry Hans straight away but I’m stronger than anyone has ever given me credit for that I still had enough love and trust in my heart I could even do that. People act like I’m weak and stupid for wearing my heart on my sleeve. Well its not stupidity, its courage. I’ve always had someone to love me. Me.’ And THAT would break the spell. Then the princess would cast off her role as a perpetual victim, save herself, tear down the stairs and pull on the suit of armour she’s already had a few run ins with and defeat the bad guy. Not by being a victim or throwing herself on the proverbial hand grenade in the name of love, but by overcoming her insecurities, taking agency for herself and literally becoming her own knight in shining armour. Then she could have shared this lesson with Elsa and been all “Love isn’t self sacrifice. Love isn’t hiding yourself away or letting yourself get hurt for someone else’s sake. Love is the reason I don’t want you to suffer for me. Love is if you can say the same to me.’